When I am Weak

“To my best mom! Have you heard? I use your weakness to turn you strong.” Screen Shot 2018-01-23 at 8.57.32 PM

My oldest daughter was six years old when she wrote that note and left it on my nightstand.

I remember standing there reading those precious misspelled words, thinking, “Then I should be the strongest person in the world.”

If weak means strong in this upside-down Kingdom of God, then why don’t I feel stronger? If weak means strong, then I should be winning at this. If weak means strong, then I should be a body builder by now.

But, instead, I just feel weak.

I could easily list areas of weakness and places of failure in my life. I can lay in bed at night and think about the things I wish I had done differently that day, things I shouldn’t have said, and things I wish I had said instead.

Regret is a nasty companion.

We’ve all had those days…days we feel like the whole world is out to get us.

It’s the kind of day where you think, “If one more thing goes wrong today, I’m gonna lose it.”  You end up halfway through your day, and that one more thing always happens, and you snap under the pressure – too weak to handle one. more. thing.

You lose patience with your children, and you have no grace for your husband. If you could step outside yourself you might find the humor in it – but that’s not likely to happen for a while.

You become a version of yourself you never wanted to meet.

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